you're not alone

This past week I had to go in for a CT scan and more surgery. pleh. So this meant more IV needles. double pleh. I hate having to get an IV. No, really, I hate having to get an IV. Some might think that since I've had so many that I would be used to it. There is just something about having six failed pic lines in one after noon that never stops haunting a person. The idea of that torment just leaves me scared and feeling all alone. Ohhh so alone.
So there I was, drinking the kool aid, realizing the end was near. Not the end of life, the end of my run of not having an IV. There it was, right in my face, no where to go, no way to get out of it. I had to act fast, I had to get it over with, and Amy was telling me that i had another half an hour before it was even my turn to go back. There was someone else on the CT table! ACK!
What to do? What to do! I still had to get some blood drawn for blood work. This added to yet another needle entering my flesh and borrowing my life source (per se).
I thought "maybe Bryony is working"; she'd stab me and I'd still be okay with it. No luck, though. Lisa was in the ER that day and I was a lot more nervous trying to ask her for the IV than I should have been. Oh well, she followed protocol and sent me on my way and said that she could come in if the person doing the CT scan asked her to. YAY! there was hope! Still nervous though, the needle hadn't been placed.
YET.
While I was walking away from the ER door, I felt this weird peaceful feeling and thought "you're not alone" went through my head. It was weird, I tell you, weird. It didn't last long.
so there I was again, in the room waiting for Amy to wander back and get me again. Sandy came through the door instead, and walked me back to the little room where I had to strip down to my under drawers and sandles and put on that ***** gown. yeah THAT gown, the one that hospitals are notorious for.
The thought of that needle was still haunting me. I tried txting people. That didn't work, it didn't distract me, i still had that thought of that needle looming about, winding through my head attacking me from every direction, it was THERE.
A little bit of small talk and a walk to the big donut later, I was laying down talking about that needle again.
Again, I felt that weird feeling and that thought "you're not alone". I thought "that's right! I'm not! there's this lady here about to stab me with a needle, she's hunting around in my arm right now!"
Zack comes in. He starts talking about white water rafting and distracts me for a moment, but somehow that needle idea creeps up on me again.
I mention that I need some blood work, too, and Sandy calls someone to verify so she can just draw it then.
She almost had it arranged to draw it so I'd only get poked the once. yay! almost.
Then Gem walks in the door behind me, and I hear her. she starts talking about how difficult of a poke I am and offers to place the IV.
Then there was that voice again.
"I told you weren't alone...."